In his book – “Victory over the Darkness” – Neil Anderson begins with the question “Who am I?” My immediate response was “I’m Cheryl.” That’s my name. That’s what I’m called. But that does not answer the question, does it? For if my parents had decided to name me Chelsea (which they almost did) or Cassandra or any other names, it would not have made me any more or less who I am.
Similarly, I could have responded to the question “Who am I?” with other equally meaningless answers based on my relationships with others, my roles in this world and so on – but then those answers are so superficial! If you peel off layer by layer my identity in this world, who would you find at the very core of my being? Who am I then? Am I “somebody” or just another speck floating in this universe? Does my existence make any difference? Is there meaning to my life?
On my way to church (in Auckland), I have to walk past a graveyard. It always intrigues me the way one’s life can be summarised by the few words on a headstone and by a DASH between two dates. Looking at the headstones often makes me wonder – what is the story behind each one? What does the -DASH- signify? And eventually one day, what would be inscribed on mine.
As I began writing this story, I came face to face with myself. Diving into the depth of my soul, I was forced to deal with issues in my life that I’d swept under the carpet all these years. It’s like walking through the hallway of an art gallery, with paintings of my life lining the walls. As I walked down the corridor, scenes from yesteryears flashed through my mind. I laughed at some; others brought tears to my eyes. Some filled my heart with delight; others I wished I could hide.
At times, I wondered if I could ever bring myself to open that door to let YOU into my life. It freaked me out to be so transparent and vulnerable – displaying my life for the whole world to gaze upon. It was indeed a struggle, but in the end, I chose to unlock that door.
P/S I wrote this for my first book “Into Her World” which was published in 2005… this blog is a continuation of my story….