Diary of a SAHM – Day 451
Today is my Birthday – a good time to do some reflecting and goal setting. Looking back over the past 30 years (ops.. did I just reveal my age?!), I have been to various places, met countless wonderful people and experienced many ups and downs in life – and for all that, I am thankful~
So now, at 31, I am a stay-at-home mother with a two-year-old son. Is that where I have envisioned myself to be? Hmm… not really. I’d love to have a successful and fulfilling career but things didn’t work out for me in the school. For years I struggled, but in the end, I caved in and chose the easy way out – I quit my job! Till today, I get emotional from time to time about the fact that I do not have a career, especially when I see my peers and juniors soaring in theirs. So yeah, that’s my greatest regret and failure.
On a brighter note, I’m beginning to enjoy being a full-time SAHM and see it as a PRIVILEGE instead. As a SAHM, I am spared from work-related stress. I get to spend more quality time with Joshayne, playing with him and teaching him about the world. It is such a joy to share his a-ha moments when he discovers something new or masters a new skill. It feels great to be the one who understands him the most – knowing his likes and dislikes, being able to interpret his utterances and anticipate or predict his very next move. Secondly, it is a joy to be able to cook for my family and to keep the house in order. Weird as it may sound, I actually enjoy doing household chores. I find great satisfaction in that. All things considered, I think I would still take this path if I were to choose again. I am blessed to have a supportive husband who allows me this privilege and for that I am thankful.
I remember a conversation I once had with Jo, a close friend of mine, when we were only seventeen or eighteen. I told him then that my ambition was to be a housewife with a PhD. So I guess, I’m halfway to achieving my dream.
So where am I now and where am I headed to?
In my first 30 years, I fell in love with Kiate, got married and gave birth to Joshayne. In my next 30 years, I hope to walk hand in hand with Kiate as we grow old together and to create many more beautiful memories as a family. In my next 3o years, I want to see Joshayne growing up in the knowledge and grace of Christ.
In my first 30 years, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in TESL and a master’s degree in Measurement and Evaluation. In my next 30 years, I want to pursue and earn a PhD!
In my first 30 years, I was a student, then a teacher and then a wife and mother. In my next 30 years, I want to be a better wife and mother. And one day, if I can have my own career, I want to be a professional consultant and to have my own education centre.
In my first 30 years, I found my faith in Christ; I’ve had mountain-top experiences and also stumbled through the valley of darkness. In my next 30 years, I pray that I can grow stronger and be more mature in my Christian faith. I pray that I can have a more personal relationship with God so that I can serve Him more effectively and be a testimony of His goodness and faithfulness.
In my first 30 years, I have been to Singapore, Thailand, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, New Zealand and Australia. In my next 30 years, I wish to tour Europe and visit Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Maldives, Greece, …. in fact it would be awesome if I can travel to ALL the countries in the world.
As for short-term goals (in no particular order)…
I want to take good care of my family – provide decent meals, keep the house clean and presentable, etc.
Study and document Joshayne’s development, especially his language development.
Take up relevant online courses.
Improve my Chinese language proficiency, especially in reading and Chinese vocabulary (so that I can teach Joshayne).
Read and write@blog for personal and professional development.
Try my best to contribute financially by giving tuition, taking up editing jobs etc.
Design at least one photobook per year for Joshayne.
To invest into the lives of others as much as possible.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” May God’s grace and mercy be upon me. I surrender my next 30 years unto the Lord; may He direct my steps~